Tsuzuki's Luck
by yellowhorde
Summary: This was written for a Challenge at the Webefanfiction ML Challenge: Poker with the buds Tsuzuki and his friends play a game of strip poker. Has Tsuzuki's luck at poker improved since his game with Muraki or is it business as usual?


Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei and I make no money from this or any other story I write.

Pairings: None

Category: Humor

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Tsuzuki torture, possibly OOC

Title: Tsuzuki's Luck

Author: yellowhorde

Notes: This was written for the 2004-09-15 Daily Challenge at the Webefanfiction ML

Challenge: "Poker with the buds"

(thoughts)

"Whose bright idea was it to play strip poker in the first place?" Tsuzuki grumbled as he lay his cards face up on the table top. It was another worthless hand - nothing but a pair of two's.

"If I'm able to recall correctly," Tatsumi's said with soft patience, "you were the one who came up with this little suggestion, Tsuzuki."

The older Shinigami smiled indulgently as he spread out his own cards with a flourish to reveal two kings and two aces. And since both Hisoka and Watari had had the good sense to fold while the getting was good, that meant that Tsuzuki had lost once again.

Watari, who sat directly opposite from Tsuzuki, grinned and began to fan himself theatrically with his hand then turned to his right until he was looking at the calm face of their youngest player, Hisoka.

"Is it getting hot in here, Hisoka?" The blond scientist quipped.

"No, I don't think so..." Hisoka replied, his green eyes reflected his puzzlement. "Why do you ask?"

Watari's grin became even wider, if possible. "Because our dear Tsuzuki's so hot he's stripping out of his clothes, kid!" He pointed his gaze at Tsuzuki, whose face was flushed a deep scarlet as he began to slowly unbutton his shirt. The tall Shinigami kept his eyes down cast as he undid the last one and slid the cotton garment from his broad shoulders.

"Yeah, baby!" The blond whooped, "Take it ALL off!" He then broke into lusty song, singing, "It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes!" at top volume.

Hisoka quickly adverted his face from the semi-nude Tsuzuki, his cheeks tinting a delicate shade of pink.

Having carefully folded his shirt and adding it to the growing pile of garments near his feet, Tsuzuki plopped himself down in his chair, frowning. "You know, it's bad enough that I'm losing, Watari." The he grumped. "without you teasing me to death."

The mad scientist of the nether world toned his wide grin down a few notches but was completely unable to suppress the mirth that caused his bright eyes to sparkle. "Sorry, Tsuzuki." He said a bit too quickly, "But you know me! I just can't help myself sometimes."

"That's okay," Tsuzuki said with a sigh. He glanced around the table and took note of how far everyone had 'progressed' in the game. The tall and stately Tatsumi had only lost both his jacket and his tie while Watari had removed his lab coat, his shirt, and his shoes. This fact did make Tsuzuki feel marginally better because he was in a similar state of undress, except that he hadn't lost his shoes...yet. Hisoka, on the other hand, still had on every stitch of clothing he had been wearing when their little risqué game had begun. This prompted a small surge of jealousy from the purple-eyed Tsuzuki. It just wasn't fair!

Tatsumi had apparently also made note of Hisoka's current state of dress.

"Kurasaki, how is it that you, while you have chosen to fold on several occasions, still remain virtually undefeated?" He asked with no small amount of awe in his voice. "Please tell us, what is your secret?"

"My... secret?" Hisoka murmured. He gathered up the cards and began to shuffle them with professional ease, as he seriously thought over the question. Still lost in thought, he cut the deck and quickly dealt the next hand before setting down the cards.

Finished with this task he glanced up at Tatsumi and smiled, a genuine smile, no fooling around.

"Well, that's easy." He said. "There's an old song that once said that you've got to know when to hold the card and know when to fold them. It also tells the listener that they have to know when to walk away from the game and also, know when to run."

"Amazing!" Whistled Tsuzuki, who looked suitably impressed by such pearls of wisdom.

Watari picked up his five cards and began to sort through them as he chuckled. "That's fine advice, kid. And if I were Tsuzuki, I'd be as far away from this place as my legs could carry me!"

All of the poker players laughed along with Watari's little crack, but Tsuzuki's seemed more than a trifle forced and his eyebrows twitched in mild annoyance. Glumly, he gathered up his own cards and wasn't surprised to see that they didn't promise to be very useful.

(Oh, why did I ever agree to play this infernal game?) Tsuzuki lamented as he discarded three cards and replaced them with new ones that were equally unhelpful. (Nuts! With the way my luck is going , I'll be buck naked in no time flat!)

He cut a sideways glance at the still fully dressed Hisoka.

(No wonder he never loses a hand. Just look at him! He's got the most perfect poker face I've ever seen. Even when we're working together I have difficulty telling what he's thinking or feeling at times because he so seldom lets his facial features or body language give him away. Unlike me...)

Without meaning to his mind flashed back to his last unsuccessful attempt at playing poker. It had been when they were on a mission on the luxury liner, the Queen Camille. He had foolishly agreed to a game of chance with the villainous Muraki. The conditions of the game had been fairly simple - if Tsuzuki won, the Doctor would divulge all information he had about a mysterious woman by the name of Eileen - information that would later prove vital to their investigation. On the other hand, if Muraki won, Tsuzuki would surrender himself to the Doctor's sexual advances for one night.

Unfortunately, for Tsuzuki, he had lost.

(If Hisoka had not interfered when he did, then Muraki and I would have...)

Tsuzuki cut off the sudden, very graphic mental image that had flashed unbidden to his mind. No, he wasn't going to go there! Not while he was wide awake and had full control of his mental facilities. Unfortunately, while he slept he had little to no control over his thoughts and sometimes they would wander down that dark and secret path of what might have been that night...

(No, I'm not going there!) Tsuzuki shuddered violently as be brought his mind back to his present situation.

"Cold, Tsuzuki?" Watari asked with a wicked grin.

"Y-yeah... cold." Tsuzuki muttered, then more heatedly, "But you would be too if our places were reversed!"

"Fortunately that will never happen." Watari crooned. "Because I'm not as bad at poker as you are!"

Tsuzuki pouted briefly and found his eyes catching Hisoka's. His young partner's expression was odd. It made Tsuzuki feel rather... vulnerable. As if Hisoka was somehow reading his thoughts.

(That's ridiculous!) He thought, turning his attention back to his cards. (Hisoka is an empathic. He picks up on others feelings, not their thoughts...)

Feeling vaguely uncomfortable, he flashed everyone a large phony grin and laughed heartily. "Don't worry, guys! I'm not out of the game yet!"

Three rounds later, Tsuzuki was in desperate straits. His luck continued to run sour and he had been forced to surrender first his leather belt, then his shoes, and finally his socks. His fellow Shinigami's had insisted that a pair of socks counted as one article of clothing despite all of Tsuzuki's protests. As far as they were concerned, only a fool or a drunkard would wear one sock and not the other. All that item remaining was his black slacks and if he lost those... Well, he would be in BIG trouble.

Hisoka shuffled the cards for once more and dealt quickly, the cards flying into four separate, but neat piles.

Watari glanced through his cards and squealed in delight, which startled the others.

"Great poker face there, Watari." Tsuzuki groused.

The blond scientist paid him no heed. Instead he leaned over to Tatsumi and whispered something into his ear. Tatsumi smiled in a secret, knowing manner and whispered something back to Watari. Seeing those two with their heads so close together like conspirators filled Tsuzuki with a sick, uneasy feeling.

"Ohh, REALLY?" Watari exclaimed when Tatsumi pulled back with that strange smile still on his face. He simply nodded his head and discarded two cards before getting two new ones.

Tsuzuki's suspicions was fully aroused now. "What were the two of you whispering about just now?" He demanded.

Watari waved his hand at Tsuzuki in a gesture of denial. "Oh, nothing much." He replied airily. "Just making a little side bet with our dear Tatsumi."

Tsuzuki's eyes narrowed. "About what?"

"You'll find out soon enough." Tatsumi replied as he fanned out his cards.

Tsuzuki didn't like the sound of things one little bit, but he said nothing as he pushed three cards face down towards Hisoka and was dealt three more. Without much hope he filed them in with the two he held into his hand.

The round finished pretty much as everyone had been expecting it to. Hisoka came out the undeniable winner with three kings. Without a word, Tatsumi removed his shirt while Watari carelessly kicked off his shoes under the table. Then all eyes went to Tsuzuki who was staring at Hisoka's winning hand with blank dismay.

Hisoka cleared his throat nervously. "Tsuzuki?" He gently prompted, "We're waiting..."

As if in slow motion Tsuzuki stood, and with tears of humiliation streaking down his face, he began to unbutton his fly with trembling hands. All players leaned forward a bit, apparently unconscious of the fact that they were doing so, and watched the red-faced Shinigami slowly pull down the zipper then slide the black slacks over his lean hips, then down his thighs to his knees and finally to his feet. Without his large purple eyes downcast, Tsuzuki folded them neatly, bent down, and placed them on top of the rest of his clothes.

There was a brief, awkward pause as everyone stared at the almost nude Tsuzuki, then Watari chuckled to himself and point his fingers at the embarrassed man.

"Whoa, you were right, Tatsumi!" He managed to gasp out between his bursts of laughter. "I always thought our little Tsuzuki was a briefs man! But you sure did prove me wrong. Here you go." Still shaking with laughter, Watari reached into the front pocket of his faded jeans, withdrew several crumpled bills, and tossed them to Tatsumi who caught them with cool elegance.

"But I must admit that this was one bet I was glad I lost." He said after calming down a bit.

"But, how did you know, Tatsumi? Was it just a lucky guess, or..." Watari let the sentence trail off, a suggestive leer on his face.

"A gentleman never kisses and tells." Tatsumi murmured, but his solemn expression couldn't hide the merry twinkle in his eyes.

"T-Tatsumi!" Tsuzuki wailed, "How could you!"

Hisoka, in the meanwhile, had gathered up and shuffled the cards then tapped them sharply against the table to get everyone's attention.

"Okay, you guys," He announced in a brisk, no-nonsense tone, "It's getting kind of late, so this will be our last round. Is everyone ready?"

"I'm not!" Tsuzuki pouted, holding his hand in the air. But no one paid him any mind as Hisoka dealt the cards for the last time.

"Okay, everyone," Watari said with a grin, "Let's see what we've got!"

Tsuzuki's shoulders slumped before he reluctantly gathered his cards, feeling no real hope that his luck would be any better than it had been all night. Sighing heavily, he fanned out his cards. But then, he sat up a bit straighter at the possibilities set out before him.

(Finally! Lady Luck is on my side!)

"Do you need any cards, Tsuzuki?" Hisoka asked, extending the deck towards his friend and partner.

"I'll pass."

Tatsumi and Watari exchanged surprised glances at this. Tsuzuki had been picking new cards all night. What could he have possibly have been dealt that would make him change his pattern so late in the evening?

"You think he's getting desperate?" Watari asked in a low stage whisper.

"If I were in his position," Tatsumi replied calmly, "I know I would be."

"Laugh it up, you two." Tsuzuki smirked. "This time I'll show you whose the poker king around here."

"Those are fighting words, you know." Hisoka said quietly. "Are you prepared to come through with that statement, Tsuzuki?"

"You better believe I am!"

Hisoka shrugged. "Suit yourself." With that, the young boy folded his cards without another word, leaned back in his chair, and awaited the end. Soon after that Tatsumi laid his cards down and folded as well.

It was just between Tsuzuki and Watari now.

For several more moments the bets continued until Tsuzuki finally called Watari on his cards. Grinning with triumph he slapped down his hand - two sevens and a pair of Queens.

"Ha! Beat that if you can, Watari!" He gloated.

For several agonized seconds, Watari held his cards to his chest as if reluctant to show his hand. He cast a quick glance at first Tatsumi, who nodded encouragingly, then at Hisoka who merely stared back at him without a word. Finally, the blond man smirked and slammed his cards down on the table.

Tsuzuki's Lady Luck turned out to be a fickle bitch.

Tsuzuki's eyes widened in disbelief as he stared down at Watari's's royal flush.

"NO!"

"And now for the moment we have all awaited!" Watari announced in gleeful tones. "The Grand Unveiling!"

Tsuzuki squirmed uncomfortably. "How about we just let this slide since this is the last game of the night? What do you say, guy? Guys?"

Watari sat back with a large, satisfied smile on his face. "No way, Tsuzuki. In case you don't remember, this is STRIP poker, which means if you lose the round, you lose your clothes. And you most definitely lost big time. So it's time to bare it all."

Desperately, Tsuzuki tried to appeal to calmer, less insane minds. He clasped his hands beseechingly before him, his violet eyes large and shimmering, and threw himself on the mercy of his old partner.

"T-Tatsumi!" He begged, "Please don't make me do this. Tatsumi, _please_!"

"I'm sorry, Tsuzuki," Tatsumi said with a small sigh, "but the rules are the rules. You could have folded, but instead you chose to confront Watari, who has proven himself to be the more competent player. So now, I'm afraid that you must face the consequences of your rash actions."

Tsuzuki cast his brimming eyes towards Hisoka, but immediately knew he would find no help from him. The teenager only shrugged before adverting his eyes from his distressed partner.

(E tu, Hisoka?)

Finally admitting defeat, Tsuzuki bowed his head. There was no getting out of this so he may as well get it over as soon as possible. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, gripped the elastic lining of his boxers in both hands, gave them a hard yank, and let the cotton material pool around his bare feet.

"I can't believe you guys actually made me go through with that!" Tsuzuki fumed back in the apartment he and Hisoka shared. "I've never been so humiliated in my entire life!"

"Tatsumi was right, you know." Hisoka reasoned quietly. "You COULD have folded and saved yourself all that stress and aggravation."

Tsuzuki flung himself back on his bed with a heavy sigh and wormed his way under the covers.

"Yeah, I know. But I was so sure that I could win, I swear I could almost taste it!"

Hisoka sighed heavily, pulled back the comforters of his bed and settled himself down for a good night's rest. Unfortunately, with the way his partner was going on and on about the embarrassing results of the poker game, sleep would definitely be a long time coming. That is, unless he was somehow able to calm Tsuzuki down.

"Look, it's obvious that you aren't any good at poker-" Hisoka began.

"Well, yeah. Thanks for noticing." His partner grumped and pulled the blankets up over his head.

Hisoka ignored the rather rude interruption and continued calmly. "So perhaps you need someone to give you a few pointers."

Tsuzuki poked his head out from under the blankets and peered hopefully at his partner.

(That certainly got his attention!)

"What someone did you have in mind?" Tsuzuki asked cautiously.

"Well, I could teach you-"

Flinging back the blankets, Tsuzuki all but leaped across the small bedroom to stand besides Hisoka's bed. His purple eyes gleamed with happiness.

"You'd do that for me, Hisoka? Really?"

"Sure." The boy replied, smiling up at the man standing over him. "That's what partners do - they help each other out."

Tsuzuki smiled and returned to his own bed feeling better than he had all evening.

"Thanks, Hisoka."

"No problem. And Tsuzuki?"

"Yes?"

"The next time you play Tatsumi and Watari, I want you to beat the pants off of them - literally!"

THE END

Hmm... I'm not entirely happy with that ending... Oh well. It's getting late and I really need to get to bed, anyway so I guess it will have to do. It's kind of hard to get a story done in less than four hours, but it had to be done before Midnight and this was the best I could do on such short notice. I must admit that I only have the faintest idea on how to play poker. ' (it probably shows, too, doesn't it?) I ended up having to ask my youngest brother what hand would beat two pairs. He mentioned something about a royal flush, so that's what I wrote. So if I made any mistakes, by all means let me know!


End file.
